You want me to do what?

Questing as Alliance is certainly turning out to be interesting. I had heard that there are some cool Alliance-only quest chains in Northrend, including things like a flashback in Frostmourne Cavern or finding out that Muradin Bronzebeard has become the king of some frost dwarves, but already at level seventy-five I'm realising that there's much, much more.

For example I thought that Blizzard had left the poo joke quests behind in Outland, but as I found out they did continue that tradition in Northrend, they just made it Alliance-only.

As early as Howling Fjord I received an assignment to literally scare the shit out of some bats for example. Why not wait until the inevitable happens on its own? Or, um, just cut it out of them? At least there's a precedent for that. No, we have to throw firecrackers at them so they crap on our shoes and then we get to kill them. Happy flashbacks made me feel as if I was back in Outland, taking felhounds for a walk with a poo bag.

Then I continued to Grizzly Hills. In the Amberpine Lodge there was a quest that started from a bucket of nuts next to the door. You click on it and it says something like "how nice, you were hungry anyway, so you eat them". Then it tells you to talk to some guy in the lodge to find out what it was that you just ate - anyone else immediately had the thought that it would have been much more sensible to do those things in reverse order? So you talk to this guy and... he's upset that you ate the seeds and demands that you fetch him some roots so he can give you diarrhea. Yes, you read that right. And it's got a punny quest title too.

So you do as asked, feeling slightly bewildered, and just as you think it can't get any worse - it does. You actually have to play through going to the toilet! You click on the outhouse, your character portrait gets replaced by a pain suppression icon, you gain a debuff called indisposed and get to watch the outhouse emitting fumes of smoke for ten seconds or so.

The reward for the quest was a Fetid Loop - what, did that come out of my butt as well? I don't remember swallowing any jewellery lately... and the best thing: after the quest is completed, the quest giver calls over another NPC and tells him to put the seeds back into the bucket again. Oh, so that's why they smelled so ni... hurk.

Looking at the comments on wowhead there's apparently yet another Alliance poo quest in Borean Tundra that I have yet to see. Oh Lordy.